Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Changing My Name

As many of you know me and mark are engaged to be married. We were planning on getting married this spring/summer but baby girl had other ideas :D Now I would love to have it in October/November time but we will have to see if funds are available.

Meanwhile I really want us to be a family unit and I know that a name doesn't define a family but I think i'd feel left out with Mark and baby girl having the same last name and me having a different one. I'm thinking about adding marks last name to my last name with a hyphen, giving me a double barrelled last name until we get married. Then I would drop my last name and become a Mrs. I did think about just dropping my last name now and then when we do get married just become Mrs but this just doesn't feel right. Mark is completely supportive of whatever I decide to do as he does understands how I feel.

I just hate the thought of me having a different last name to baby girl on her birth certificate. I know it's only a piece of paper but it really does bother me. I know that our last names will still be different but at least we'd partly have the same last name. I think I might feel differently if me and Mark weren't already engaged but we have been for 4 years now (longest engagement ever I know) I always wanted the big white wedding that as a little girl I dreamt about but now baby girl is on her way I realize that this isn't as important as it once was. Now I just want to marry  the man I love and the father of my soon to be daughter. 

It is a big step to change my last name (or add a name as I would be doing) and I really want to do it but I still can't make a decision. I know one person who changed her last name to her boyfriends just before their little girl was born and at the time I thought she was completely crazy and I couldn't understand why she did it but now it all makes sense.

Did anyone else feel the same if you weren't married when you had children? Or didn't you mind?

Thanks for reading,

Nicola xx


  1. I had the opposite quandary. I took my husbands name on marriage, but we split up when our son was 15 months old. Once divorced, I could have changed my name back to my maiden name, but kept my married name so that it was the same as my son's (as I have joint custody with my ex, he would have had to approve changing our
    son's name).
    So I have stuck with my married name, until my son is old enough to decide what he wants to do about his.

    One option I had was to double-barrel my married name and surname, so there was commonality with my son - but as I already have a double-barreled first name it seemed daft.

    I think double-barreling is a good idea, as long as baby is the same or takes one of you or your partner's surnames.

    1. My mum actually did the same thing. She kept her married name so that it was the same as mine and my brothers. I do think it is important! Xx

  2. oo this is a bit spooky, i just came on to do a post about marriage and weddings and name changes, and then read your blog 1st x im of the opposite opinion i dont want to get married or change my name lol will be publishing my post tonight x x


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