Tuesday, 2 July 2013

How Do I Decide?

I feel like I'm at a crossroads in my life. Like after I finished college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted to go to university and become a primary school teacher. I wanted to go to beauty college. I wanted to just get a full time job.

I chose beauty college and I loved it. That was until 6 weeks before my exams. I was all prepared and ready. I felt confident. I loved everything about my courses. Then, then I broke my wrist. I was unable to do my exams. I felt like I had wasted a year of my life. I was meant to re do my exams. That was the plan. But my wrist was never the same again. I couldn't give massages the same way. Time passed by and I forgot what I had learnt. I got a full time job and moved on. That job lead to me getting asthma but I also re connected with an old school friend. It was both a rubbish and happy time.

Right now I'm at a crossroads again. I don't know which way to go and I don't just have myself to think about this time. I have to think about Paige too. 

I think I've decided against getting a full time job. I really don't want to put Paige into nursery. I don't think that situation is right for us as a family. I might feel differently if we had family that could watch her for a little bit, sadly we don't.

So what do I do?

I'd love to start up a little home business. Who doesn't?! I don't know what I'd like to do though. Or maybe I could study some more. Maybe I should just be happy with being a stay at home mum. 

I do love being a stay at home mum but when Paige goes to bed each night I long for something to do. To earn a little pocket money. To fulfill my dreams whatever they may be.

Which way do I turn? How do I decide? What is right for us?

I need a sign. A big neon sign that tells me exactly what to do. That would be the easiest thing. But life isn't easy. I've had enough rough times to know that. One thing I do know is that things always work out. Your always lead to the right path. At least that's what I think anyway. 

So maybe I believe in myself. Maybe I take a running jump and hope I land on my feet. Maybe I trust myself to make the right decision.

And if it doesn't work out at least I tried. Trying and failing is better than not trying at ll!

How do you decide?

Thanks for reading,

Nicola Xx


  1. I think you're right life will work out either way. It always does. Try not to spend a great deal of time having anxiety over this. I think you should do what you say 'trust yourself to make the right decision'. I wish so much that that big neon sign would crop up for me also, but I just can't seem to find it either. I can't really advise you any further but to say 'You get one life. Grab any opportunity that you can. Don't say no to things because they're is no such thing as can't.' xx

    Alex ♡
    Bump to Baby

  2. Hi Nicola, only you know what's really best for you and your family. So go with your gut instinct. Thank you for hosting the I Love My Post Blog Hop. I'm a new follower via Bloglovin'. Please come by my blog and follow me back. It's great to connect. I wish you all the best. :D


  3. Very true post, i am in a similar situation although i have a job, i find myself wanting to do something for myself, my own venture. My dad always said is better to have tried and lost than never tried at all. Trust your instincts and give it a try!

  4. I hope you can figure it out hun. I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as can't. I had an amazing career, earning a brilliant wage and I travelled all over the UK and Europe before I had Mads. I had to give it up to have her but of course it was what I wanted. I went back to my old company, and didn't want to travel so got put in a really basic role and I hated it. I stayed for the maternity pay and now 4 months into my mat leave, I am 99% positive I am not going back.
    We have a mortgage and I have to earn a certain amount to put my share in as my hubby's wage won't cover everything so I have to work, and I want too, just me personally couldn't stay at home all day every day- I have no idea what I am going to do but I am at the stage where I am making a bit of money from blogging, social media and taking photos. I just really am going to push myself to succeed and do well- I just hope I can. And I hope you can too. xx

    1. Thank you sweetie. I wish you all the luck and I'm sure you will do amazing whatever it is you choose to do xx

  5. My decision making process has been criticised quite a few times, but I still go with it because it is what works for me. I go with my heart, and my guts. It's tough at times, but i believe the phrase of "all you have to fear is fear itself". There is guilt in whatever way you choose, there are prices to pay either way. Choose with your heart and then find a way to make it happen with your head.
    Good luck in whatever you choose!


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