Mark has written a couple of blog posts for me in the past so I thought that it was about time he did another. This time I wanted to get his view on how having two children was for him. I wrote my thoughts in a recent post here.
"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" It's 4:20pm and I've only just walked through the day. All I want to do is sit down for five minutes to recharge, Paige has different ideas! Nicola is looking like she, Paige and Parker have just had a nice relaxing day, everyone looks happy and calm. And then it happens.
Nicola with shoot off upstairs to get Paige's and Parker's pyjamas ready for the night or put the washing away, Paige will start running around and Parker will start crying! This is the situation I dread, I really can't handle it.
I find it so overwhelming having two children. I have no idea who should get my attention first? How long do I spend with each child? Panic doesn't take long to creep in.
When it was just Paige I thought I was a pretty good dad, I loved it when she was a newborn and we now have such an amazing bond, I thought surely it would be just as easy second time round.
I love both my children dearly and they are the driving force behind everything I do, but now I feel so inadequate as a father I can't help but get down about it. I'll be honest, I don't do any night feeds. We have a routine set around Parker's sleeping habits. Nicola will do the night feeds, normally one or two, and I'll get up with Parker when he becomes cranky at 5:30am. The long days aren't helping, I've never been so tired, I know that's a big part of why I feel so low.
One on one I'm fine, I'm back to being a competent dad. My son is what every man dreams of. I love just holding him, looking at him, giving him plenty of kisses and cuddles. And similarly with Paige when it's just us two it's perfect, we run, jump, build and play. They both make me extremely proud.
I need to get better at managing my time, I keep asking Nicola for advice and guidance, it seems to be helping. I just want to feel like I deserve that "amazing dad" mug I'm sure I'll get for Father's Day next year! I know things will improve as our sleep improves. But until then I'll muddle through, feeling like the weak link in the family. All that matters is I adore my children, and they seem to adore me. I am so thankful that I have a great wife that can be there when I'm struggling. As a family things will only get better, of that I am certain!