Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Hating Pre School

Paige started nursery in September. It took her a couple of weeks to settle in but after that she was fine. She would walk in happily and have loads of fun while she was there. When the weekends came she would always ask to go to nursery and ask about her friends.

Things didn't stay that way.

She started saying she missed us. Then started not asking to go. Then started not wanting to go. It's so hard walking your child to pre school every morning knowing they don't want to go. We'd walk, sing songs, talk about what we'd do after school and the closer to school we got that was when she would say she didn't want to go. Then the tears would come. I've have to hand her over with tears in her eyes and mine.

Once she is at school she is perfectly fine. She plays with everyone. She is lovely with her teachers. She even got the first ever star of the day. It's just leaving me she doesn't like.

Separation anxiety. Anxiety.

When Paige was younger she suffered with stranger anxiety. Quite badly at one point. We thought that was the end. I thought that as she got older it would be easier to explain to her and that she would be able to explain to us.

We are trying to help her through this just like we did then.

We talk about pre school and how much fun she has. We talk about her friends. I try to get her excited to go. We talk about how mummy and Parker will always come back to get her. I bring her teddy with me when I pick her up. We are trying everything we can think of.

We try not to say that she is being silly. Or tell her to be a big girl. For some reason leaving me makes her anxious and I don't want her to think that it isn't ok for her to feel that way because it is. It's ok for her to feel however she is feeling. It's ok for her to express her feelings. It's just hard for her and me.

I'm hoping she outgrows it just like she once did before. She is such a happy little girl normally that's its so hard to see her this way. Her teachers are concerned as she really does get over it almost straight away once I've left. Its just those couple of minutes s we say bye.
Has your child experienced separation anxiety?

Nicola Xx


  1. When my son was in pre-school there was a girl who used to scream the place down at every drop off. You could hear her when approaching the building if she was there before you! They helped her by holding her to the window and getting her to wave bye and say see you in a bit. They used to tell her mums going home to wash her hair etc but always that she'll be back. She'd still scream but it got less and less and stopped by starting school. At party's she's never far from her mum still but at least there's no more screaming and fits. A lot of it is a protest too that your taking them somewhere and leaving them. No matter how much they like it there it's still the fact you've took her somewhere and left her! There is no way round it really except like what you have said to accept her anxietys. Smiles!

  2. Poor little girl. I hope it gets easier for both of you over time. X

  3. Reading this is like reading my life at the moment. M started preschool and absolutely loved it. Recently she has started going all day and is scared of using the toilet. She won't go at all, either holds it all day(!) or has an accident. Since this she has screamed every time I drop her off and won't let me go. We have regressed that she won't go swimming either or do ballet without me being right next to her. The separation anxiety is so real and she is suffering really bad. You are not alone, and I hope Paige gets over it soon like I do with M. Stay strong and big hugs xx

  4. We had this for A's first term at preschool, she cried every day and would cling to my legs asking to go home. It was awful but now it's a distant memory. Paige will get there eventually. Hugs x

  5. Aw I hope that she gets better soon, it is so hard to leave them when they are sad. LL did it for a while, she literally would be hysterical when I dropped her off and then be fine by the time I left the nursery. For the last few weeks she has been happily going and giving me a kiss and waving goodbye to me. Hopefully it's just a phase for you all- it is so hard. x

  6. Poor girl! It sounds like you are both very attached, which is a good thing. She needs to know that you will be there for her, but hates having to leave you. Perfectly normal behaviour that she will grow out of, enjoy the cuddles when you pick her up! :) x


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